The Undoing

I have been thinking for a long time now about sharing more of my life on my social media outlets. Currently, on my social media handles, it’s evident to see that I am married, have 3 kids, live in the Tulsa area, and am soon moving to Austin, Tx. If you go a ways back you will see I am a hairstylist and used to have an in-home salon. You will see that I tried to make it as an influencer/ beauty blogger for a minute. You will even see a few posts where I share my heart. Posts where I have traveled to different parts of the world to do relief/ missional work with the world’s most vulnerable. What you don’t know is that there is so much more to me than these things. There are so many things that I believe in or support that I’ve never shared publicly because I either thought it wasn’t relevant or I was scared to share my secret thoughts. Living in the Bible Belt of the US, I often feel silenced. Not by anyone in particular but rather I feel like the fish who’s swimming upstream and it’s just easier to pretend I’m swimming downstream with everyone else. Well, I’m done pretending. I’m done being silent when I don’t agree with something. I have had years and years and years of practice with swimming upstream so don’t think that I woke up this morning with guns blazing, ready to chew out anyone who disagrees with me. That’s not what I mean when I say I will no longer be silent. I have been going through a process of “undoing.” What I mean is that I have had to undo most of the teachings and beliefs I was raised to believe. Little by little I have shed layers of what was ingrained in me as an adolescent. This undoing all started back in 2006 when I had ventured off on my own as an 18 year old at a church where I learned about forgiveness for the first time.

In this blogging journey, I’m going to have to start at the very beginning to explain how I got to where I am today. I still love Jesus, go to church (pre-covid) and read the Bible. I just do all of these things in a different way than I did 15 years ago. If you read through my journey, I pray that it will help you to see God in a different way, that you will be challenged to think beyond what you have been taught, and allow God to speak to your heart. Let Him reveal what you believe at your core rather than what a minister or parents taught you to believe.

You may wonder why I feel I need to share my beliefs. Why do I swim upstream? Can’t I just swim downstream like everyone else, be quiet, and keep the peace? No, I can’t. You see, I believe that love cannot be silent. There are people in this world who I love deeply that are hurting terribly. Hurting in a way that you or I could never understand. They need advocates. If I call myself a Christian, I need to love people. All people. I need to love people the way Jesus loved people when he was here on this earth. He stood up for the suffering and dined with them. When I see others suffering, to advocate for them is to love them. To be silent is as good as hatred. In Revelation 3:15-16, it says: “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” I for one, do not want to be lukewarm. I want it to be clear what I am for and what I am for is love.

A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says:

Love thy neighbor

Love thy immigrant neighbor

Love thy refugee neighbor

Love thy LGBTQ+ neighbor

Love thy black neighbor

Love thy Muslim neighbor

Love thy disabled neighbor

Love thy Jewish neighbor

Love thy Republican neighbor

Love thy Democrat Neighbor

Love thy Latinx neighbor

Love thy addicted neighbor

Love thy homeless neighbor

Love thy Indigenous neighbor

Love thy atheist neighbor

Love thy incarcerated neighbor

Love thy Asian neighbor

Love thy middle eastern neighbor

Love thy_________ neighbor

When the world sees me, I want them to see and feel the loving warmth of Jesus. Jesus never turned anyone away from coming into His presence and differences are not barriers.

I just want to add that I am not trying to be right. I know that I am not a pillar of knowledge and truth. I do not think I have it all right and that I am an example human. We should all be continuing to learn and grow until until the day we die. I am so glad that I am not the same person I was at age 16 and I know at age 64 I’ll be so glad I’m not the same person I am today at 32. If we keep our hearts and minds open and focused on the love of Jesus, He can transform us in ways we never saw coming. I have so much more learning and growing to do as we all do. I just pray my life experiences will encourage you to stretch and grow in areas you never thought needed growth.

Until next time.