Oh, friends, this is a long read. I’m sorry about this but I’ve been thinking through this specific blog post for quite some time and I wanted it to be just right. To be just right, I needed to use all my words and get out all my thoughts. If you know me and if you’ve been reading this blog series, I think you know what’s coming. All that I’m about to share with you has been brewing within me for years and it’s time for it to come to the surface. I’ve wanted to post about this for some time but I didn’t want it to happen abruptly and cause everyone total whiplash. I wanted to prepare my readers and give perspective of where I was coming from. Cover all my bases and then run for shelter. It’s been hard to muster up the courage to write and share this post because I know that many people in my life who care for me and I for them will not agree with what I have to say. I had to wait to write this post until I was ready to be brave enough to face ridicule. It’s easy to voice your beliefs to people who agree with you but takes a certain level of bravery to go against the grain and voice your unpopular opinion to others who do not see eye to eye with you. I’ve been working on the post since November of 2021. I have obsessed over my words and sentences. I have typed and deleted, typed and deleted, typed and deleted. I’ve gotten to the point where i know I just need to release my words. well, here goes. Below is the continuation from my previous post.

After hearing stories from my dad and God working on my heart, I began to think, “what if gay people really are born gay? What if being gay is who they are and it is beyond their control?” I think we all have things in our lives that are beyond our control. From the color of our skin and eyes to how our brains process information.

A lot of us think being gay is a choice and that there’s a switch in your brain that you can turn on and off. Have you ever been attracted to your same sex and only your same sex? Have you felt that the “normal” way of life seems so wrong to you that it hurts to try and picture yourself in a “normal” relationship? If not, how can you speak to something you yourself have never experienced? It all goes back to the thought of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.

I decided that whatever the bible said about same sex attraction, I knew in my heart that to be like Jesus would be to love the LGBTQ+ community. I still wanted to do my homework on the topic though. I knew there were Christians who believed that being gay is not a sin. I needed to read some books that dig into where this topic is mentioned in the Bible.

I started with, ‘God and the Gay Christian’ by Matthew Vines. This book completely changed how I read the verses in the Bible that mention same sex relations. Matthew has really done his research and I would recommend everyone read the book for some context as to how the world was so different and barbaric in the days of the Bible. Next I read, ‘Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate’ by Justin Lee. This book was quite similar to ‘God and the Gay Christian’ in my opinion but it was a little lighter and easier to read. More story-like and less history lesson. Both are good. I listened to the ‘For the Love Podcast’ by Jen Hatmaker. She has several episodes on the theme of loving and caring for the LGBTQ+ community and as I mentioned in a previous post, the ‘Blue Babies Pink’ podcast by BT Harman. All of these books and podcasts were written by Jesus loving people. Everything that was said in these books and podcasts made sense in my heart and mind. My heart broke for the stories of others who, like my dad, grew up putting on a facade, feeling they could never be their true selves. I believe that in Jesus we are all set free. We all have a seat at God’s table just as we are. It’s our job to follow Jesus’s example and be love to the world. After doing my homework, I came to see these verses in the Bible in a new way. I feel everyone needs to do their reading and reflecting like you do with most things in life. Make your own opinions and believe what you believe rather than what others have told you to believe. I shared what books and podcasts I liked so you’re welcome to check those out for yourself or even find others.

If you are interested in knowing what I have come to believe the Bible says about homosexuality, continue reading. Most of what I will explain is what I got from reading, ‘God and the Gay Christian’ or is just my opinion. I realize some of you may never do the reading I have done on this topic so I wanted to share a brief overview of what I have learned to hopefully shed some light on a topic that has seemed so black and white for far too long.

Did you know that Jesus never mentions the topic of same sex attraction in the Bible? Actually, same sex attraction isn’t mentioned at all. What is mentioned is gang rape, pagan orgies, and lustful, drunken same sex affaires of most likely straight people.

I learned from reading, “God and the Gay Christian”, that in ancient Rome and Greece, masters would mount other men as a degrading, barbaric way of showing dominance. A master would sometimes rape his male slaves in the middle of the night to fulfill his lust while the rest of his household was asleep. Keep in mind that these masters would have wives, female slaves, as well as female concubines, all of which the masters would have sexual encounters with. These masters were not gay or same sex attracted, they were power hungry, lust filled, sinful men. This gives us a glimpse into the goings on of the way the rich and powerful lived their lives in that time.

The verses we read in the Bible that mention same sex acts are not of same sex attracted people genuinely looking for a committed, monogamous relationship. That makes a big difference when you’re comparing what the Bible says to a sweet family of two moms and 2 kids. We are comparing sadistic, power hungry men and drunken orgies to people nowadays who just want to be loved and accepted or be in a loving relationship with a human they’re attracted to.

Ok, let’s dive in to what the Bible says. Probably the most popular story that people like to use as an example of why same sex relations are sinful is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Let’s take a look at the nutshell version of what happens in this story. God sent men (angels) to Sodom and Gomorrah to check things out. Word on the street was that Sodom and Gomorrah was full of grievous sin. When the men arrived at the gates of Sodom, Lot saw them and offered them a place to rest in his home. That evening, all of the men of the city surrounded Lot’s house and told him to bring out them men who were guests in his home so that they may have sex with them. Lot went outside and offered the men his two virgin daughters rather than the male guests in his home. The gang of men outside were not pleased with this offer and they said to Lot, “Who are you to judge us, you foreigner? We will deal with you worse than how we will treat your guests inside.” The men inside the house were able to pull Lot back inside his house and tell him to gather his family and belongings and get out of Sodom because the Lord was going to destroy the city. The city was destroyed.

All of this can be found in Genesis 18 and 19.

I remember hearing this story and learning that the whole story was about the sin of homosexuality. Clearly, there is so much more going on in this story that we need to strip it back and examine it more closely. The first time I heard this story explained in a different manner was when reading the book, “God and the Gay Christian.” (You’re going to hear me reference that book over and over. Sorry.)

Following the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19, we see the cities and their sin referenced 13 times in the old testament. The cities are mentioned as a way to warn the people of other cities what could happen to them because of their sin.

The sins that are referenced are; theft, oppressing the marginalized, murder, idolatry, mocking the poor, and pride. In all of the references to S&G and comparing the other cities to S&G, sexual sin is never mentioned. You’d think that if S&G were destroyed solely because of sexual sin, the other cities that are being compared to S&G would have had a problem with sexual sins as well. In Ezekiel 16:49-50, the Bible actually lists the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah saying, “ Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” Matthew Vines, author of God and the Gay Christian writes, “If Sodom’s sin had indeed been same sex behavior, it’s highly unlikely that every written discussion of the city for centuries, following it’s destruction, would fail to mention that.”

Now, were the actions of the men in this story sexually immoral? You bet! They were ready to gang rape the outsiders and from what we can infer in Genesis, there was sexual immorality between men and women too, but like I mentioned above, there was far more going on in Sodom and Gomorrah than sexual immorality. I think it’s important to note that this story is used so much in the Christian world as an example of why it’s sinful to be gay but these people in this story were not gay. To be gay is to be attracted to the same sex, not people who rape the same sex.

Next is Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13.

“When a man lies with another man as one does with a woman, it is an abomination.”

“If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

Before Jesus’ time on earth, things were so barbaric and hate filled. So, so many laws. It sadly reminds me of some closed minded Christians I see today who believe that everything is either good or bad and there’s no in between. They have forgotten about grace and are ready to put to death the ‘wrongdoers.’ Little did the people in the old testament know, God didn’t give them all those laws. They made all those impossible laws for themselves. Don’t mix fabrics, don’t cut your hair, don’t eat shellfish, stay away from women on their periods, stone the women who has committed adultery, etc. Death was the punishment for a lot of things back then. When Jesus comes in the new testament, he says he has come to abolish the law. He came to teach us a new way of life! Thank God! (literally!) He taught us to look at the world through the lens of love and peace. No more stoning to death of the adulteress. He stood up for her. He invited himself over to Zacheus’s house for dinner. He chose to be around those who society would consider less than or second class citizens. When we read these verses in Leviticus, we have to read it with the lens of the barbaric, rule run, hate filled time that it was written in. Same sex attraction, in terms of wanting to be married to the same sex was not even a thing yet so it was seen as wrong and detestable. On par with cutting your hair or getting a tattoo, the things we do without a second thought today.

One of many things could have occurred to make the author of Leviticus write these verses.

I don’t know who those verses were written for but any time there’s a rule or law in the Bible that mentions being put to death, I just can’t believe that our God who encompasses love is ok with that. God is known as a good father and I believe that he is slow to anger and quick to understand. He knows his children and he loves them as he made them. He is not surprised by our actions and when we do things he doesn’t like, he doesn’t threaten to put us to death. Something to think about. Now on to Romans.

Romans 1:26-27

“Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.”

Matthew Vines writes,” Paul’s description of same sex behavior in this passage is indisputably negative. But he also explicitly described the behavior he condemned as lustful. He made no mention of love, fidelity, monogamy, or commitment. So how should we understand Paul’s words? Do they apply to all same-sex relationships? Or only to lustful, fleeting ones?”

That is a great question and I think that today, we have to realize that there is no representation of a healthy same sex couple in the Bible. The examples of same sex acts mentioned in the Bible have to do with lust. Paul writes (in Melinda’s words) that straight people were having unnatural relationships with one another. These people he is writing about had also turned their backs on God and started worshiping idols. They were basically living for themselves and partying hard. (Melinda’s words again.) Their fault was not that they were same sex attracted and seeking relationships. I believe they were straight people filled with lust for one another. They were partaking in sex acts that were unnatural to them. That reminds me of a talk I had with my ‘bonus dad’, my dad’s husband. He told me that an unnatural relationship for him would be for him to be with a woman. He couldn’t imagine it and to him it would feel unnatural. For me, it would be unnatural to be with a woman. That’s what made me think of this passage and the term, ‘unnatural.’ I believe these people in Romans were straight and that’s why their lustful acts were not only sinful but were unnatural.

I think it’s important to think of all the Bible verses that we no longer abide by today. We no longer purchase slaves and have the right to lawfully beat them. Women are no longer forced to marry the men who raped them. We have evolved and grown more civilized. It used to be illegal to be gay and still is in some countries. Are we not evolved enough to simply let people love who they want to love? What is wrong with loving people? If two people are romantically attracted to each other, I say let them be.

That brings me to my announcement, which is; I do not believe it is a sin to be gay and I stand with the LGBTQ+ community. This is not an opinion I made on a whim. As I have written before, I have been growing, changing, and learning since I was 18 and I learned about true forgiveness for the first time. The God I knew in my childhood is not the God I know today. Being a Christian looks so different to me now than it did as a teenager. Like the title of this blog series, I have been ‘undoing’ so much of what was ingrained in me as an adolescent. I have been affirming of the LGBTQ+ community for years now and it all started with my dad. Hearing his terrible stories of a hopeless life got me thinking that God could not have abandoned these dear people. That caused me to dig and with digging I found God in a way I’ve never known him before. A God who loves his children dearly and doesn’t want anyone to feel hopeless by being who they truly are at their core. Not everyone who reads this will agree with what I have said and that’s ok. I just hope that some hearts have been softened a bit to the idea that maybe it is not a sin to be gay. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that God accepts the LGBTQ+ community just as they are. I have some pretty amazing friends and family members that are part of this community and I would take a bullet for any of them. I love you guys to pieces and I feel like a momma bear with all of you, even my daddy. As a straight woman, I will use my voice to make change for YOU. My friends and family are what prompted this series of posts. Each of them have had to go through a time of coming out. Coming out to family, friends, facebook, their church. Each time they came out, they were handing their delicate hearts to be judged and scrutinized by a cruel world. They are so very brave. It’s the least I can do to ‘come out’ as affirming. If they have had to go through hearing others’ opinions of their sexual orientation or relationships, I can go through hearing the possible disapproval from you all. I would hope that if you disapprove you would just continue on with your day and not leave a negative comment but I am not naive and I know that’s not how the internet works.

My hope is that you who are disapproving of the queer community would take the time to listen. If you know someone from this community, maybe get to know them better and hear their stories. Don’t know anyone or aren’t comfortable with that? Listen to the ‘Blue Babies Pink’ Podcast I have mentioned before. Maybe you are a christian and already are affirming of the LGBTQ+ community. If so, I’d love to know! Read some books on the topic and and for goodness sake watch Season 2, episode 1 of Queer Eye. Gets me every time. Even if you feel firm in your stance of queerness being sinful, do the humane thing and let them live their lives as they please. One person’s sexual orientation does not affect your life one bit. Let them be and for God’s sake be kind to them. Forget about the speck in their eye and worry about the log in your own. Something about me is that I feel others' feelings very strongly. When I have people in my life whom I love, who get scrutinized, it’s not ok with me. It’s especially not ok when the scrutiny comes from those who are supposed Jesus followers. To be like Jesus is to love. Love one another and love your neighbor as yourself. Now go and do likewise.

Oh, and happy pride month!